First I want to thank everyone who has emailed and left comments wondering how the surgery went and to let me know that you’ve been praying for him & us. Thank you, thank you. I am so extremely blessed to have y’all in my little bloggy world. I will always be amazed at the power of prayer. And I am amazed at the promises God has kept.

Friday the surgery finally happened a little before 1pm. Big Sister went to her friend Mari’s house to swim. On the way there she was telling Little Sister, “You’re a baby. You can’t go swim at Mari’s. When you a big girl like me, then you go”. Little Sister just stares at Big Sister with either looks of amazement or looks for complete annoyance. They are very similar. So, Little Sister stayed with me & my mom in the ICU waiting room, then the OR surgery waiting room, then back to the ICU waiting room. For three hours we were all there and she did amazingly. Answered prayers, indeed.

Dad’s surgery went very well. It was a very quick procedure, lasting only about 20 minutes. On the way up to the OR, dad was able to see Little Sister. He smiled, and let me tell you, the flood gates opened. I was so happy that he saw her. We said bye before he went back, and on the way back down to the ICU mom rode in the elevator with him. I did not. We had the big behemoth of a stroller with us, so Little Sis and I had to take a separate elevator. After about an hour after surgery, we were able to go back to see him. Mom let me go first and she stayed with Little Sis.

Oh, y’all. Never in my life, besides the nights my babies were born, have I ever been able to see and feel God’s glory. Like, I felt it. My skin crawled and there was such peace that I haven’t experienced in such a long time. Y’all, I saw my dad’s eyes OPEN. For the first time in 15 days. He was awake. I squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. I know it’s hard to wrap your head around it if you haven’t been there. But just stick with me. God has been doing so much work and it hasn’t just been on my father’s physical abilities. He’s been working in my heart. But more on that later.

I squeezed my dad’s hand. He lifted up his right arm to show me how much strength he still had. Oh, thank you Lord! He winked at me. If any of you are a Daddy’s Girl you know how special a bond there is between daughter and father. Oh, it’s precious. I talked for a little bit, told him how extremely proud I am of him, how wonderful it is to see him awake. How I’ve missed his pretty blue eyes. I kidded a little bit, he would grin.

And to get a little glimpse at my dad’s humor, I was telling him a story about Big & Little and he furrowed his brow at me. I said again, “You know, Big & Little?” He shook his head ‘no’. Panic sunk in. I said, “Daddy, you know, my girls? You know who I’m talking about??” He, again, shook his head. “Daddy, Big and Little. My girls. You remember, right?” A sheepish grin spreads across him lips. “Don’t do that. It’s not funny and it’s too soon to kid me like that!” He totally knew my girls. He just wanted me to worry. Always my dad, one to make others laugh (y’know, after giving them a panic attack).

We cried, we laughed. All in about ten minutes. I went back to the ICU waiting room so mom could go back.

And I think, oh Lord, I think about how I would feel to see J after a long two week battle in the ICU. I think about all the long battles mom has been through with dad. I think of all the suffering she has watched her husband, her love, go through. Oh, how it breaks my heart. How it strengthens my faith, how it makes me hold J’s hand a little tighter. I am so thankful for my mom’s love. Her grace, her patience, her ability to persevere. I thank God for my parents’ love for one another. There ability to move mountains and still love one another.

I thank God that he is in the middle of their relationship.

So, seeing God’s glory…

The past two weeks I have been angry. I’ve been mad. I’ve been questioning God’s reasoning. I’ve questioned why God has chosen the paths He has. Why He’s let happen the things that have happened.

But I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter. God is so big, y’all. He’s so big, he can take it. He can hold me while I through my fit on the floor, He can allow me to “run away” like a little child does when he’s angry. Did you ever “run away”? Maybe you packed your favorite blanket and teddy bear. Maybe a little snack too? Maybe you got as far as the porch or the sidewalk before realizing it’s a tough world out there? I feel like I’ve been pouting on the porch swing, waiting until I finally give in and go back inside. I’ve gone back inside, and my Father has greeted me with open arms. I feel like He’s been telling me, “Jill, honey, please be patient. I do know what I am doing. I have a plan. You father is a big part of this plan. I am performing miracles. My glory is being seen. My glory is being taught. My glory is in your father’s healing. Give me time, sweet child, I know what I am doing.”

And I have to trust that. I have to trust that God is doing exactly what He needs to do.

This morning, I went to visit him. He looked well. He still cannot talk. But he will be able to soon. They are putting the feeding tube back in (he’s had a tube to drain his belly because of the mass near his colon). They turned the ventilator off (!!!). He was breathing on his own (!!!!) and according to the doctor, he was breathing deeper than what the ventilator was doing for him (!!!!!). If that’s not God’s glory, I don’t know what is.

“Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.”
Psalm 24:10

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He has done.

Posted: 07|12|08 at 11:06 pm. Filed under: Life Stuff, Yay God, big sister, little sister.
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