I’m a little impatient right now.
I don’t know if anyone has noticed (hello, people, comment) but I haven’t been updating with much substance lately. I’ve got things on my mind. Things that I’m not sure if I should share with the general public. But… I’m tired of letting this all marinate and I sure wouldn’t mind another opinion.
I’m a little impatient and a little dissatisfied. About church. Maybe not exactly church. But, more the things I’m involved in. I need more substance. I need more depth. I need more Jesus. And I just don’t feel like I’m getting all that I need right now. I used to be in this really amazing Monday Night Bible Study. I was in it for over two years. It was wonderful and it was something I looked forward to every Monday night. It’s kind of flickered out. It breaks my heart because it truly meant so much to me. I’ve been in prayer on what to do about it. I’m not the leader of the group, nor do I really wish to be. But I would love to see it back up and growing strong. I just feel dissatisfied about it.
J (and myself by default) is/are starting a new Key Group on Wednesdays. We’re going to do Dave Ramsey’s Finacial Peace University (child care is provided, so let me know if you are interested!). We’re still trying to figure out the details with our pastor. I’m impatient because I’m ready to get things rolling. I want to go ahead and start this now.
Is anyone else reading “I” way too many times??
I need to just hand it all over to God. I need to let Him fill me up. I need to be in His Word and get fed that way. I shouldn’t rely on others to spoon feed me. I’m just ready for some deep spiritual growth.
I would start a new Monday Night Bible Study - but there are feelings of others to consider and I’m just not sure what God wants me to do. So I’ll wait (because that’s easier than anything else).
Have you ever been itching for something more in life? I mean, I feel like I’m on top of the world. I have an awesome husband, two of the sweetest children, wonderful friends and family whom I love. I’ve got it all… but I know there is just so much more God wants from me and I’m ready to learn what it is and do that.
Am I making sense to anyone?
November 6th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Oh hun, I totally feel you!! I was just praying about this same exact thing this morning. I find myself in a lot of leadership roles at church, and while I love to share my passion for the Lord with others, I still desire to be fed! I also recognized before the Lord that I know He is capable of filling me and teaching me… but there’s still something to be said about receiving and worshiping with other passionate believers as well! So, although I have no advice for you… I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone
Looks to me like you’re on the right track by giving it up to the Lord.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Sure it makes sense! What you are feeling is God’s voice telling you to dig deeper. I think you gave yourself the best advice already.
Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God
I think that if you just wait, be still and listen…you will find the path for something more. He will lead you. What a relief! I need to embrace this passage as well
November 6th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Yeah…it really did kind of flicker out. but also…The dynamics of peoples schedules changed. You’ve got Sam who wants to be home with Sam and baby on Mondays because Sam gave up BSF so he could be home with them then so she is going on Tuesday. Kimbo who wants to be home with Mikey and Madison. Me who wants to go on Tuesdays mornings so I can be home with Brandon when I’m not at a Pampered Chef show….and I’m not sure about everybody else.
I am just not sure that the people who were pretty consistent had a good fit for Monday night Bible study anymore?
I too have been feeling that “itch” to be doing something but I am just not sure what to do?? I am going to start subbing…trying to be a better helpmate (you know…contributing and sticking to the budget…oh but Christams) to my husband before we add little ones to the family. I think that that is the best thing to invest my time and attention to right now!
Anyway this is crazy long! I am just trying to throw around some thoughts with you!
November 7th, 2008 at 7:51 am
I totally understand you and your feelings. I think at one point or another we all go through these feelings. It is not a bad thing, it means you are growing in your walk with God! That is excting. You are yearning to learn as much as you can and be there everytime the church opens its door…THAT is what church is all about! God wants us to keep Him first, no matter what is going on in our lives. We never want to get out of the habbit of going to church, no matter the circumstance…because it is hard to jump back in…I agree with you! It is so comforting to know that God never takes a break from us…praise God! Your family is and will continue to be strong because of your wilingness and faithfulness to him! All your feelings might be God just nudging you and trying to speak to you! Just keep listening and God will lead you! I love your honesty and openess. You are a wonderful person. Love ya!
November 7th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Being Impatient is part of the natural process of obedience. We all tend to be impatient when we are waiting on God to move. Sometimes we think we are waiting on God, when in essence he is waiting on us to make a move. To make a leap, take a risk. When God says move then we have to move. My question to you is this, What is keeping you up at night? What is bothering you when it comes to the church? Usually when we are bothered or when we lie awake at night, God is speaking to us the loudest. He is calling us into action. If your small group is stale and want to see it changed, then start one that is different. When your ladies bible study fizzles out, start a new one that is vibrant and dynamic like you had before. This is opportunity for you guys to step up and be leaders. This is the very purpose of small groups, to grow (spiritually and in numbers) and multiply. So I encourage you to pull the trigger, quit lying awake at night and be Nike! Just Do it! Don’t be led anymore, but lead! i DON’T usually comment on blogs, but I just had to.
November 7th, 2008 at 10:14 am
I totally understand where you are at, and at the risk of sounding preachy, here goes. I have four children. I had a four year old, a fourteen month old and twins. I had chaos. I volunteered in so many things and at so many times, that my husband BEGGED me to stop volunteering. So I did. For two years I did not volunteer and I prayed for guidance from God about what I should be doing. What freedom. I would just tell people that my husband had forbid me from volunteering. I said it with a smile, but it was mostly true. After a while, I absolutely heard God speak to my heart about my Coffee Talk ministries at our church in Arizona. And I started that and I was fulfilled and the ladies in my church were also.
I think that we as women tend to take on too much. Especially if we stay at home with our kids. We feel that it somehow justifies our decision to stay home if we appear busy. Take a hard look at your life, how much is just weighing you down? Take a break from volunteering and listen for the still, small voice of God to guide you to where HE needs you to be. It could be that you need to just minister to your home and your children. That is an incredible ministry.
Taking some time to decide instead of being the first one to volunteer is good for you, trust me, ten years later, I at least feel that I have balance. In church and at home. God bless.
November 7th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Thank you for your prayers my love… I hope to do an update today!
November 8th, 2008 at 4:44 am
Girl, I’m just up the road and in desperate need of a Bible study. There just doesn’t seem to be anywhere in which I fit at my church… small group, women’s class, etc. I need something and I don’t know exactly what but if you want to explore it with me, I’m here.